Hi, my name is Todd Baratz. I'm a licensed mental health therapist and a certified sex therapist. I'm here to answer questions submitted by you, the plusOne community. 

The question is, I want my partner to initiate intimacy more. How do I tell them without offending them? 

Expressing your desires for more initiation can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable, but it is a must. Here are some tips to help frame it as a desire, not a criticism. 

Try something like, "I love it when you take the lead in sex. It makes me feel really desired. I'd love it if you initiate it more often." This lets them know it's something that excites you rather than a complaint. 

Be specific about what you enjoy. If there are particular ways you'd like them to initiate, gently share those ideas. This can help your partner understand exactly what you're hoping for, acknowledge what they're already doing. 

Recognize any effort they already put into sex. This can reassure them that they're not failing in any way, but that you're just opening up about specific desires. Keep communication open. Encourage an ongoing dialogue where both of you can feel comfortable sharing your desires without feeling judged. 

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