How to Use Sex Toys with Your Partner
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Time to read 8 min
Thinking about bringing a plus one into the bedroom?
Maybe you’ve used a toy on your own, maybe you haven’t—but now you're curious. You’re wondering what it might be like to bring one in with a partner.
And if you’re someone with a vagina, you probably know this already—orgasms often need more than just penetration.
With the right toy and the right vibe, your plus one can take the pressure off and dial up the pleasure, unlocking new highs with your partner.
We've compiled some of our favorite tips for how to use a couple's sex toys and how to introduce them without feeling awkward.
Table of Contents
How to get started with Sex Toys? Types of Sex Toys to Try with a Partner Toys for Vaginal Stimulation Toys for Penis Stimulation Toys for Anal Stimulation Tips for Using Sex Toys Together Keep Exploring: Adventuring Erogenous Zones with Sex Toys Make Lube Your Best Friend Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) Takeaway: Having Fun is Key
How to get started with Sex Toys?
We all love a good conversation. And sometimes, the hottest part about sex is what happens before our clothes come off.
Start with a simple and sexy question: “Wanna try something fun tonight?”
This can be done over a playful text or an idea softly whispered into your partner’s ear. Even casually browsing options together can set the stage for a fun, bonding—and hot—experience because anticipation builds desire.
So whatever the adventure, remember to invite your partner into the process as the journey can be arousing in itself.
Types of Sex Toys to Try with a Partner
If you already have a toy then you’re halfway there. Toys used during solo play (like vibrators or wand vibrators) also work well in partnered settings. If you’re new to this, those classics are a great place to begin.
The key is understanding what you (or your partner) are looking for and what you’re each willing to explore. The best way to figure out what works for you (and your partner) is to experiment. So let’s break down the different ways to stimulate pleasure and have sex with toys.
Toys for Vaginal Stimulation
The vulva is an incredibly sensitive part of the female body. By triggering the nerves bundled in this region, people can experience arousal and even reach orgasm, without the penetration. It’s an ideal spot to stimulate during foreplay and partnered sex, as well as solo sex. This stimulation can be done by fingers, the penis or with different toys we’ll cover below.
G-Spot Vibrators: If you’re looking for a supercharged erotic experience, try the g-spot vibrator designed with a curved tip to hit the G-spot with deep and powerful penetration. Try: plusOne® g-spot massager
Rabbit Vibrators (Dual Stimulation): These are what we call multitaskers. They stimulate both the clitoris and vaginal canal at the same time with an internal shaft and flexible “ears” that rest on the clitoris. Try: plusOne® luxe dual massager
Wearable Toys (Ben Wa Balls, Egg Vibrators): Feeling playful or naughty? These discreet, insertable toys can be worn throughout the day to build slow burning arousal and anticipation. Some come with remote controls—perfect for a bit of partner kink in the public or just adding a spark in the bedroom. They are also known to help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, so why not get additional health benefits while having a bit of fun? Try: plusOne® kegel trainer
Bullet Vibrators: Size doesn’t always matter… Though small, don’t let the size fool you. It’s ideal for precise clitoral stimulation or other erogenous areas like nipples or the perineum (for women, the skin in between your genitals and your anus, and for men, the area between the anus and the scrotum.). It is your ultimate external stimulator and are great “beginner” toys. Try: plusOne® vibrating bullet
Clitoral Stimulators (Suction Toys): These use air pressure to create a gentle suction over the clitoris—offering a unique and pulsating sensation. They can be used during vaginal penetration. Try: plusOne® heart throb air pulsing vibe
Couples Toys: These toys are designed to be worn during intercourse and stimulate both partners simultaneously. The plusOne® vibrating ring is a great fit for this.
Dildos / Vibrating Dildos: Looking for penetration? These toys come in all shapes, lengths, and widths—some with vibration and some without. plusOne® luxe ripple multi vibe
Toys for Penis Stimulation
Tenga Egg / Masturbators: They are made from extremely flexible and soft material to replicate parts of the body and simulate what it feels like to have vaginal, anal, or oral intercourse. plusOne® personal stroker
Prostate Massagers: Guys need some love in the intimate wellness area. Try these massagers to intensify your organisms. The best ones are usually curved and feature vibrating or other physical stimulation options. Try: plusOne® prostate massager
Cock Rings: Worn around the base of the penis to make erections feel firmer. Some come with vibrations to increase pleasure for both partners. Think of them as a way to turn up the intensity—without overcomplicating things—and perhaps help delay ejaculation. plusOne® vibrating ring
Vibrating Toys: From sleeves to wands, vibrating toys bring extra stimulation to the penis, whether you’re playing solo or with a partner. They can add variety, amplify sensation, or just offer something a little different to explore together. plusOne® external prostate massager
Toys for Anal Stimulation
Butt Plugs: These are smaller and designed to stay in one place for minutes or hours. Wear them throughout the day or specifically during play to experience the sensation of pressure and increased arousal. plusOne® luxe vibrating plug
Dildos / Vibrating Dildos (as previously shared above) can be used for anal stimulation and penetration. plusOne® luxe ripple multi vibe
Prostate Massagers (as previously shared above) can be used on its own or in unison with other sexual activity like partner penetration or while receiving oral sex. plusOne® prostate massager
Tips for Using Sex Toys Together
There’s no perfect formula for everyone as we all experience pleasure differently. The only way to figure out what works for you (and your partner) is through exploration and experimentation.
Start slow and playful. Let curiosity lead the way and use toys to discover, rather than to chase a specific outcome—this will help keep performance pressure at bay.
Take turns. Watch each other, touch yourselves, or hand over control. Arousal often comes from the witnessing, and not just the doing. Switch things up to make things exciting.
Go beyond the genitals. Erogenous zones are everywhere so don’t limit yourself to just the genitals. Try vibrations along the inner thighs, nipples, neck or anywhere that sparks sensation.
Experiment with settings. Most toys come with different settings so make sure to try them out. Explore the different speeds, pulses, and rhythms to see what excites. What feels good today might feel different tomorrow—remember, our bodies and moods shift.
Always bring the lube. plusOne® hydrolube™ personal lubricant
After all the fun, don’t forget to clean the toy for good hygiene—and make them on standby for round two (or ten). plusOne® toy cleaner
Keep Exploring: Adventuring Erogenous Zones with Sex Toys
Erogenous zones are areas of the body that can become sexually aroused when touched, kissed, or stimulated in the right way. Some areas are more obvious—like the clitoris, penis, nipples, neck, and lips—while others are more individual and unexpected: the lower back, inner thighs, spine, wrists, ears, or even toes can all be erotic in the right mood, and with the right touch.
Different toys help you explore different areas and experience new sensations. Nipple clamps, anal beads, textured surfaces, or toys with varying speeds and patterns can excite parts of your body that you might not usually pay attention to. For a more subtle and sensory experience, try feathers, silk ties, whips, cuffs, or just your hands. Try warm oils, ice cubes—or whip cream like what you see in the movies. Remember, touch doesn’t have to be overtly sexual to feel electrifying.
The more curious and attuned you are to each other’s responses, the more you will both uncover what feels sensually exciting and deeply satisfying.
Make Lube Your Best Friend
There's still a weird stigma surrounding lube. The idea that needing lube means that something is wrong with you needs to be corrected because how wet you get depends on so many things: hormones, stress, arousal time, and even what medication you might be taking. Using lube doesn’t equate to how much desire and attraction someone feels.
There should be no shame in using lubricant because not only does it make everything feel better, it helps prevent friction, soreness and injury. As sex therapist Cole puts it, “A good lubricant enhances any sexual experience, be it with a sex toy or with a partner."
Just remember to make lube your best friend.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do I talk to my partner about using sex toys together?
Start with curiosity and playfulness. A simple, sexy prompt like “Wanna try something fun tonight?” can open the door to conversation. Talking about using sex toys with your partner should feel fun, not awkward. Browsing toys together or sharing fantasies can build anticipation and intimacy.
What are the best sex toys for couples to try together?
Best sex toys for couples are bullet vibrators, vibrating rings and G-spot massagers. These are easy to use, enhance external and internal pleasure and help partners explore each other’s bodies in new ways. For a shared experience vibrating rings and wearable toys are perfect for mutual stimulation during sex.
Can I use my solo vibrator during partnered sex?
Yes! Many vibrators designed for solo use—like wand massagers or bullet vibrators—work great during partnered sex. Using a vibrator during sex can enhance clitoral stimulation, increase pleasure and help partners discover new erogenous zones together. Communication is key to make sure everyone feels comfortable and included.
Are sex toys safe for anal play and how do I choose one?
Yes, but choose toys specifically designed for anal use, like butt plugs or prostate massagers which have flared bases for safety. Anal sex toys for beginners should be smooth, not too big and made from body-safe materials. Always use plenty of water-based lube to prevent discomfort or injury.
Why is lube important when using sex toys with a partner?
Lube reduces friction, makes it more comfortable and increases pleasure during sex toy use—especially with vibrators, dildos or during anal play. Whether you’re using clitoral suction toys or prostate massagers, a good quality water-based lubricant makes the experience smoother and safer. It’s not a sign of dysfunction, just a smart way to level up intimacy.
Takeaway: Having Fun is Key
The possibilities are almost endless. Just think: anywhere you can touch or stimulate, you can also do the same with a toy. Use them externally, explore internally, or mix and match—there are no strict rules around how many toys you can use at once. What matters is getting your partner’s consent and creating a safe space to experiment and unlock heightened sensations that’ll keep you breathless—and coming back for more.
